Urban Gold Exile: English. Sauna, Fauna and Powa.

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Like any blogger that has any reference to Hunter S. Thompson, I managed to pull it off as well: I shocked and disgruntled my fellow human beings, and thereby, in the manner of Fear and Loathing, validated my existence. Short version: I drink, dance and flirt, therefore I am. Also: I write.

This time I arrived a bit earlier at the Pratersauna than usual - the problematic queue in front of the door was thankfully spared this time. As expected, the beginning was rather laid back - the Wing Tsun Specialist Jakob described the advantages of the Sauna accurately: Each floor has a different mood. And so it was. Achitecturally as well as in the lighting installations, the environment says 60ies - from the cubist lamps on the wall to the green and red lasershow, from the coloured water to the couloured glass bricks.

Hidden in the still functioning sauna on the premises was the personal birthday party of co-organiser Misha. Heat, sweat, and the focal point of the party is established. And then things begin to catch on fire.

It's important, in order to avoid heatstroke, to periodically leave the sauna to cool down - be it with beer, the pool or a deckchair (preferably in companionship, as a wonderful lady in red and black demonstrated remarkably, using the original USP of a short skirt), cool down and relax, that was the contrasegna. Rest, breathe, kenny watch the stars, and then the bass calls you back to the floors with a vengeance.

Behind the old, magnificent trees of the prater, the old mafia-pool lies tucked away like an island in the jungle. Where once Proksch and Sinowatz said "Freundschaft!" to one another, the young students jump around to the beat with jolly well nearly nothing on. 

My beloved Gin Tonic turns out to be a budgetbuster - 9,50, sorry, I´m going to keep my change. I can pay that much at the Hotel Imperial, no problem there. With these prices, even the good Queen Mum (rest her soul) would stay sober (probably because she can hold her drink, too).

The pool attracts bare-bosomed teknovikings that dive into the freezing and shallow water with death-defying multiple backward salti. Nearly naked nymphs in bikinis giggle past, throwing their scantily clad booties on the floor.

And the main floor is really worth it: The Pratersauna stays just to it's fame, the place is busting as Justice's "Dance" hits the speakers, followed by Fat Boy Slim's classic "Praise You" - wonderful openers, garnished with good old gnarly "Crazy". But then, my personal moodkiller (just my two cents): "I push my seed and I push for life". What the hell? Is this some kind of cryptocatholic bullshit? I wrote about that recently, anyway. 

The second floor is still quite depopulated at half past one, playing passable straight house. The main continues the "Jolly Good Life", and at Misha's private party, the best asses of all Vienna begin to undress shamelessly, in order to get a good sweating at the sauna. Sweat really is dropping from the walls.

Push me, Pull me, until I get my Satisfaction - housy, but faster, more lyrical - followed by "Fettes Brot's Schwule Mädchen" (what else?). Half past three, and the second floor follows with dope beats.

The private room was played by Itsun, student of history for 7 years and a faible for tekkhouse meets minimal-progressive. Very smashing indeed, you'll sweat much easier. Excepting a few couples making out (or, at least, doing something between kissing and oral sex), the party was gone at 4, and at 4:20 the garden was closed, because of the cops or something. Either that, or they guessed that the people would simply stay there and party on otherwise.

Summarising I'd like to say: Long live the Sauna! Sauna, Fauna and Powa! and of course: Don't forget to cool down.

p.s.: Last song on the main floor: Dr. Greenthumb by Cypress Hill. Why not, even Brad Pitt wants to legalize Ganja if he ever gets elected President of the USA.

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